Why I am a Quaker

I have always loved silence. When you are standing on your own in a desert, surrounded by absolute silence, you know that silence is not empty. But how can you find that powerful sense of inner peace in a world that seems hell-bent on being as noisy and frantically active as it can possibly be?   

I was first touched by the Christian message when I was 10.  But I couldn’t find a church where I could settle. Over the years I tried various ones: CofE (Anglican and Evangelical), Methodist and Baptist. So much depended on the minister; and so often I felt as I was being told what I HAD to believe, and that it wasn’t OK to think for myself.  I’ve done some study of the Bible from an academic point of view, and continue to do so (YouTube courses run by Yale University on the Old and New Testaments I find absolutely fascinating). That learning brings with it an understanding that nothing is quite as clear-cut as we are often led to believe when we sit in a church.

The years passed with their ups and downs and I’d given up on the search for finding a place of faith where I felt I could be ‘me’, and where I could regain a bit of that inner sense of peace I’d experienced in the desert.  I was at a time when I was feeling a bit desperate during a long and anxious period of caring for my mother. On a bus going to Cheltenham shops, I noticed a little sign that I’d missed before. It read ‘Quaker Meeting House’. ‘Why not?’ I thought, though I knew little about the Quaker faith and way of life.

In the stillness and quietness of a Quaker Meeting I felt at peace – and continue to do so. That time is now the highlight of my week.  The inner peace is made more powerful because it is communal. You know that all the others there (now online and in the Meeting Room) are, like myself, using the silence to ‘centre down’ to seek guidance and wisdom from God. For Quakers have faith that He is deep within each one of us, as well as being present in the world outside of us – and I’ve found that to be the case. You just need to give Him the opportunity to let his Voice be heard above the din of life.

In Quakers I like the way that we are all equal; all are children of God. The only time the silence in a Meeting is broken is when a person (who could be any one) stands up to speak, or to read something, because they feel urged to do so. The Meeting House room is simple in its furnishings but not spartan. It is comfortable – why would you need anything more? How much I agree with the Quaker desire for simplicity in a world where the possession of an increasing multiplicity of ‘things’ seems to be the new god. Yet having simpler necessary things around you actually brings a quieter state of mind.

What I value particularly about being in a Quaker community is that it is one where you are accepted, whatever your beliefs. How greatly I appreciate that feeling of f/Friendship, acceptance and respect. But I also appreciate the wider vision held by Quakers: their striving to care for refugees and those suffering the atrocities of war; for those in prison; and for the state of our fragile world. All is done, of course, in a quiet Quakerly way, without bombast and blaring trumpets to announce what they are doing. I like that.  

So, could I ever stop going to Quaker Meetings? To me that seems unthinkable. In the last few years, I had to move abroad for work and contact with Cheltenham had to stop. Sadly, there is no English-speaking Quaker community where I live … and I felt bereft. Then came Covid and Zoom entered our lives. So now again I can attend Meeting, online. I haven’t applied for membership yet, but I wait for the time when I will feel led to do so.

I just wish more people would catch sight of that sign in their local area which reads ‘Quaker Meeting House’ and think, ‘Why not?'

I was brought up in Lancashire, and my father was a vicar in the Church of England, so I was always used to going to church, and had a bit of an insight into how the Church of England worked, which was both helpful and unhelpful at times. I continued going to church, with varying degrees of enthusiasm and regularity, until I started going to Quakers.

At school my favourite subject was geography, and my teacher helped me to understand the importance of caring for the earth. I also studied history to A level, but could never understand why countries kept fighting each other. So an interest in peace and living sustainably started early.

The first Quaker Meeting I went to was a wedding in Derby in 1980, and although I liked the Quakers, I was a bit uncomfortable in the meeting, with nothing to look at except each other!

I met other Quakers during the 80s as active people in the Peace movement. In 1984 I was living in Surrey, married with two young children, and looking for part-time work opportunities. I started working for a few hours a week for the Reigate Quaker Housing Association, and was given a copy of Advices and Queries. I really liked the values, and the way they are expressed – using words like “consider”, and emphasising integrity. I went to Quaker meetings on Sundays occasionally during this time, but my main experience of Quaker meetings was the Housing Association meetings using the Quaker business method – which impressed me very much.

When I moved to Stafford in 1989 I sought out the Quaker meeting, and again met Quakers through my peace and environmental activities. When Jenni Edwards visited the Meeting in the mid 90s as part of her travelling ministry, I went to and enjoyed a lot of the events that she arranged, and after that started attending Meeting regularly on a Sunday, instead of going to church. This was also the time when the current Quaker Faith and Practice was going through its final drafting and being introduced for the first time, so various study groups and discussions were held, and I learned a lot, although I was a bit in awe of several “weighty friends”. I became a member in 1997.

In awe sometimes, but very influenced by other Quakers I have come across in my life. The first Quaker I met after that Derby experience was in Berkshire, organising taking food and fuel to the recently arrived Greenham Common women. I loved the way she just accepted me, without knowing me, starting from an assumption that I was ok, and she could trust me – really seeing that of God in me, so that it made it all the more likely that I would respond positively.

I love the way that Quakers accept each other, and others non-judgementally – but it’s not an anything goes liberalism, it’s being open to new light, it’s rooted in the testimonies, and above all it’s seeing that of God in everyone.

For me, being a Quaker is a way of life – it’s about trying to live authentically, in accordance with the Quaker testimonies, and really taking responsibility for helping things to go well - in the world, with other people, and in the Quaker community. Every decision I make – what to buy, what not to buy, how to spend my time, is informed by my faith, and by the testimonies. By “living authentically”, I also mean not living my life in separate bubbles, which I did at one time, for example “Alison the peace activist”, or “Alison the local government officer".

I am also very excited to be part of Quakerism as a prophetic pioneering community - historic and modern day Quakers who challenge the norms of society as their Quaker witness - faith into action.

More recently I am putting more emphasis on how my heart, body and emotions fit into my life, as well as my head. I spent some time in November (2019) working out my carbon footprint and trying to understand all the assumptions that have to be made. The following week the bushfires started in Australia, and I started to feel like never before the reality of climate change on an emotional level. It’s so different from counting carbon!

And it’s actually so much more than climate change – caring for the earth out of love, and because all living things and the earth itself are connected, so why would we damage it? Planting trees because I love trees, not just to offset my carbon emissions. And trees are a good thing – we can learn from them about community, and how they add to the health of the earth.

This is all spiritual, all a journey, for me. I want to learn from indigenous people, among others, who understand more about how all things are connected, and recognise an energy, or spirit in that connection. And a good place to start, or come back to, is just noticing, paying attention: “Take heed, dear friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your heart”.

I wrote this in March 2020, just before the pandemic, and said that “I am finding it hard to put my spiritual journey into words, partly because it feels very much like a transitional phase, which may or may not transform into something clearer in due course.”

One of the great things about Quakers is that I can do all this exploring and journeying, and it's all the time reinforcing for me that this is where I belong, I am a Quaker – even though you may not be able to relate to all of this - your spiritual journey is a different one.